Operator! Give me the number for 911!

Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

"Me fail English? That's unpossible." - Ralph Wiggum

"Homer, lighten up! You're making happy hour bitterly ironic." - Moe Syzlak

Here's to alcohol, the cause of-and solution to-all life's problems." - Homer

My cat's breath smells like cat food."

Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!" - Troy McClure

Sideshow Bob- Attempted murder? Now honestly, what is that? Do they give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry? Do they?

D'oh




I'm Normally Not a Praying Man, but If You're up There, Please save Me Superman -Homer



I used to be with it, but then they changed what 'it' was. Now, what I'm with isn't it, and what's 'it' seems weird and scary



Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me." "Okay Mr. Burns, what's your first name." "I don't know."

No TV, no beer make Homer something something

Aren't we forgeting the true meaning of Christmas? You know, the birth of Santa.

Sideshow Bob: You want the truth! You can't handle the truth! No truth handler you! Bah! I deride your truth handling abilities!